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Should I Be Hopeful That He Will Change His Mind About Divorce?

Tue, Jul 13th 2010

I'm in shock. After 11 months of marriage my husband told me he wants a divorce. He told me on a Monday night and Tuesday he called to tell me he contacted an attorney and that I would be getting a letter.

I was so clueless. He was acting depressed over the last few weeks and definitely less affectionate. Yet, he was still kissing me good bye in the morning and calling me "babe."

When I asked him what was going on he said he went to see a therapist. He said he wasn't sure if it was his family, friends, work or us that was making him sad. We did have some arguements over minor things but no knock out, drag out fights. I relocated to his state so I would be the one most affected in terms of moving, etc. I told him I wanted to fight for our relationship. He said he is not confident that counseling would help and he doesn't want to take that step.

What I am blown away by is the fact that he had seen an attorney weeks before and just pretended to live life normally. The weekend prior, we went running together, and to dinner and the movies. Things were tense but never did I think things were that bad. I never knew he was considering divorce nor did he ever express to me that he was so upset with us that he might take this action. He asked me why I couldn't you tell something was wrong, as if I am a mind reader.

He never gave me the opportunity to fix anything that might be affecting the way he was feeling. It really is so frustrating. Why he is rushing this confuses me too. I thought we were a terrific couple and everyone that knows us is in shock too. I have removed myself from the house after trying to convince him we should seek professional help. I am hoping that the space might change his mind.

Should I think this way or move on?

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