Considering Divorce After Several Deaths in The FamilyMon, Mar 28th 2011
I feel at the end of my rope. Begining just under a year ago, my family and I have been through a lot. Our family pet of 13 years died, my mother died, one of my sons(16) friends comitted suicide, a significant injury happened to my son, my wifes father died, my father is in the hospital with serious long term health issues, and of course, there is all the drama of a daughter leaving home this year for college.
My wife has always been a fairly negative person, but now it is becoming unbearable to me. Two days ago, after a "girls night out" with the female relatives on my side of the family, she had a screaming tirade for 2 hours in the car as I drove her home from my Aunt's house. She said a lot of hateful things directed mostly at my family and how I don't deal with it because I always have to be the "nice" guy who everyone loves me, etc. etc.
This has been coming on for a few years, but now I am not sure...am I just still grieving? Am I going through the exercise of coming up with why I want to stay married? Next year our last child will leave for college. And you know, I can't come up with any other reason to stay I will be lonely, it will hurt the kids, or my wife couldn't survive it.
I have suggested counseling, but she won't go, because "she doesn't need to defend herself," (her words). Is this just still grief? Should I go to counseling by myself?
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.