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Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Am I a Sociopath?

Sun, Aug 7th 2011

I was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years. Things were great in the beginning. Then, I started getting upset over things he would do, like putting friends and drugs before me. We eventually got passed that until I did something unreal.

He had a best friend who treated me like I was lower than dirt. I felt like everything with his friend was a competition between him and I. Until one day, when my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight, his best friend was the one there to comfort me and I ended up sleeping with him. After that one time I should have just told my boyfriend what had happened but I didn't. His friend started using it against me and, before you knew it, I ended up sleeping with him multiple times over a span of about a year. My boyfriend would ask if anything was going on and I would continue to lie and say, "no."

After he found out we did, he wanted to know everything, and I still continued to lie about what had actually happened. I blamed every little bit on his friend when I was at fault in some way too. I mean I did go through with it and all. But, after this incident, I realized that was how I attempted solving all my problems, by lying because, in my head, thats the easier way out.

Every time my boyfriend would ask me something I didn't want him to know about I either stretched the truth or just flat out lied about the whole thing. I do that with every situation though, not just involving my boyfriend and me. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. Unfortunately, I only feel the most sorry when I see him upset about it.

When things are fine, I'm fine. He's told me multiple times that I'm manipulative and do whatever I can at that certain time to better myself and no one else. He always tells me it's like a game to me. I would always tell him he was wrong, and then I Googled, "pathological liar," and I found a website about sociopaths instead. After reading multiple websites about it, I feel as if maybe he was right. And now I don't know what to do.

Can you please help me with some advice? I'm begging you.

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