Emotional Manipulator, Personality Disorder or Both?Wed, Jun 13th 2012
How can I know if my husband has a personality disorder? We have been married for 2 yrs, have a 20 month old son and are in marriage counselling and have had 2 appointments. I have seen an independent counselor who believes my husband is emotionally manipulating me. Yet the marriage counselor does not see any personality disorder. He makes lists for me, is never happy when I complete the tasks he wants, and I see a cycle with his moods. He drinks 2-3 beers a night and smokes and says I am stressing him out not his job. Yet, he hates his job but fails to do anything about.
I am a MSN RN with a minor in Psych and believe him to be some cluster C disorder or part sociopath because he lacks empathy with me, but has so much emotion with our son and is a GREAT DAD. Our problems come because he wants me to do his socks a certain way and his laundry before ours and have sex without condoms and use spermicide or some other form. So we just use the condoms and later he tells me it is not what he wants and is not being fulfilled. He has had 2 breakdowns in the past 2 weeks because I forgot my phone and ran some errands and he says I do what I want to do and live in my own world. Well!
What steps can I take other than what we have? Will he need to be seen professionally by himself and how can I get him to do this even now when he wants me to "wrap up" the other therapy telling me we need to work out our own problems? I am smart enough to know this is not normal. I do not want to divorce because of our beautiful son. Please give me some advice. THank you!
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.