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Mental Disorders

Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Jealous Girlfriend

Fri, Oct 5th 2012

Dear Dr.Schwartz,

Please give me some advice on how to save my relationship with my overly jealous girlfriend. It has gotten to the point where I can't keep a job if my co-workers are females and I engage in any type of conversation with them, even if it is job related. Beyond that, we cannot go out together in public as every time we pass what would be considered an attractive person she is glaring at me to see if I am looking at them. Even if I am not she will accuse me of it anyway. For example, I was walking down the hallway of the hospital she works at with her and a woman. She was walking up the same hallway towards us directly in front of me and she instantly accused me of looking at her. When I asked her where I should look she said the ground.

I am constantly reassuring her of my feelings for her and my love for her but nothing gets through. I have even offered to take a polygraph as to whether or not I ever cheated or if I am even looking at these women. She says I am. Unfortunately, it has brow beaten me so bad that I am no longer tolerant of it and get argumentative now.

I don't know what else I can do. I have let her run a program that allows her to view all my phone calls and read all my texts whether deleted or not as well as follow me on GPS when I leave the house. I have given her complete access to my facebook account from which I have deleted all females except family.

I am hoping your advice is not to walk away as I truly love this girl and want to ask her to marry me. Aside from the jealousy she is a great girlfriend and when these issues don't rise up we get along great. I also understand that these are valid feelings she is having even if they are not real....please help me.

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