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She's Lied About EverythingMarried to a PsychopathWhat am I Supposed to do With a Hypochondriac Step Daughter?How to Help my Delusional Son?What is This, and What do I do About it?Is my Sister a Pathological Liar?How Can I Overcome my Debilitating Shyness and Fear of Life?Am I Really That Messed Up?Why Do I like Being Abused?Co-Dependent MotherShould I Stay With a Lying Husband?Jealous GirlfriendLiarIs Erotic Transference Permanent?How do I Help my Hypochondriac Sister-in-Law?I Think I Have a Mental IllnessWhy Can't I Get Over It?HopelessIs There Such a Thing as Happiness? How Can I Not Lie Anymore?Erotic Transference and Borderline Personality DisorderAm I a Sociopath? 20 Year Old Viewed Child Porn, Computer Taken by PoliceHow do I Cope With a Parent Who is Trying to Ruin me?Is it Okay to Give Up?I Think I Have Sexual Issue'sI Think I Need Some HelpExtreme JealousyI Never Experience Happiness Diagnosis Second OpinionI Think I'm DepressedBorn to Lose, or Nurtured to Lose?Why Does He Lie?Help with a Histrionic FriendSilent TreatmentAre Personality Disorders For Life?My Husband is Too AffectionateDelusional and Morbid Jealousy?Anxiety Disorder vs. Personality Disorder: Differences?Anger Driven Down Wrong RoadBipolar Woman with Secret LivesWould Medication Help? Sociopath or Sociopath-like Product of My Environment?HelpDBSDiet and anxietyMy boyfriend is a SociopathIm so confused...is is BPD or Bipolar? Save my marriage!Why is my mom following me around to take over my life?What is Neuroticism?Anti social with accepting girlfriendDoes my husband have a personality disorder?Is it possible to stop being an attention seeker?Are all personality disorders the results of poor parenting?Boyfriend with APD - frustrated - Nelly - Jul 21st 2008I'm overemotional! What's wrong with me?Identity Confusion: I don't know what personality disorders I haveAM I BEING ABUSED BY MY THERAPIST?My partner of 6 years suddenly left with no explanation and has completely shut me and my kids out- EliseIs Borderline Personality Disorder a Choice?Can he be changed?I don't know who my true self is!Self-Injury / Self-Harm: How do I stop cutting myself?What Are Some Coping Skills for Paranoia?Ritual Penance and Feelings of WorthlessnessIs she mentally ill and is there anything i can do?Please explain how it is that psychopaths can manipulate people if they have no empathyA Friend in NeedThree different personality disordersMild Personality DisorderMy OCPD husband can't tolerate my 'flaws'I think i'm lost?Possible borderline?Very confusing relationshipCoping with Narcissistic BehaviorWhat is wrong with me?No FriendsI want a personality disorderBorderline GirlfriendHabitual Liar? Or Something Worse?Possible Munchausen SyndromeI choose victims to comfort meA Habitual Liar's LamentProtecting Children From Their GrandmotherI Don't Have Any Idea What To SayCraving AttentionObsessive Research AssistantExternalizationDissociative Identity ProblemGetting Along With Narcissistic RelativesDysfunctional FamilyHow To Treat Avoidant PersonalityPersonality Disordered GrandmotherSchizoid(?) FriendLying FriendMore Than One Personality Disorder?Pathological Lying
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Mental Disorders

Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

What is wrong with me?

Tue, Dec 5th 2006

I am always angry, irritated that my children are around me, and sad all at once. I have been diagnosed with Post tramatic stress and depression. I have been on and off med\'s for the past 5 years (mainly Paxil and Wellbutrin). The drugs have either left me feeling emotionally dead, or haven\'t been working. I came of the Paxil about 6 weeks ago (life has been hell ever since).

My parents split up (when they were actually together) when I was 3 (shortly after my sister was born) and I went to live with my grandparents. When I was 4 my dad receive custody (my mom didn\'t want us). At 5 my dad started sexually abusing me, at 8 he raped me. When I was 10 I told my grandparents about the abuse. We were taken from him, lived with my grandparents for the summer and then were sent to live with my mother and her husband. We then had to go to court and tell the judge about the abuse. He was convicted on my testimony (my sisters was thrown out, she got confused. The lawyer was cruel and confused her, she was only 8) At 11, My dad commited suicide by crashing his car into the tree across from my house (I was outside at the time). At 12 my parents had a new baby. We were no longer wanted. I lived in foster care on and off during my teen years, but mainly bounced from home to friends house. At 15 I became sexually active and slept with many men (mainly 5-6+ years older). As I would say, looking for love in all the wrong places. At 18 I moved out of my parents house for good and onto my own. Shortly there after I dropped out of high school and me the man I married to today. (I love my husband. He is a good man) I don\'t know how I lucked out with him, but he faithful, doesn\'t abuse me in anyway, and takes good care of his kids (no abuse). I should be happy, but I am not. I resent my kids, I resent myslef. I am angry all the time. I have been to numerous consellours from the time I was 11 until just a few years ago. They don\'t help. I don\'t want to abandon my children (like my parents did), but I want it all to end. I feel trapped and I don\'t know how to deal with it. Any ideas?

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