powered by centersite dot net
Personality Disorders
Resources
Basic Information
What is a Personality Disorder?Diagnosis of Personality DisordersCauses of Personality DisordersTreatment of Personality DisordersPersonality Disorders Summary and ConclusionPersonality Disorders References and Resources
More InformationQuestions and Answers
She's Lied About EverythingMarried to a PsychopathWhat am I Supposed to do With a Hypochondriac Step Daughter?How to Help my Delusional Son?What is This, and What do I do About it?Is my Sister a Pathological Liar?How Can I Overcome my Debilitating Shyness and Fear of Life?Am I Really That Messed Up?Why Do I like Being Abused?Co-Dependent MotherShould I Stay With a Lying Husband?Jealous GirlfriendLiarIs Erotic Transference Permanent?How do I Help my Hypochondriac Sister-in-Law?I Think I Have a Mental IllnessWhy Can't I Get Over It?HopelessIs There Such a Thing as Happiness? How Can I Not Lie Anymore?Erotic Transference and Borderline Personality DisorderAm I a Sociopath? 20 Year Old Viewed Child Porn, Computer Taken by PoliceHow do I Cope With a Parent Who is Trying to Ruin me?Is it Okay to Give Up?I Think I Have Sexual Issue'sI Think I Need Some HelpExtreme JealousyI Never Experience Happiness Diagnosis Second OpinionI Think I'm DepressedBorn to Lose, or Nurtured to Lose?Why Does He Lie?Help with a Histrionic FriendSilent TreatmentAre Personality Disorders For Life?My Husband is Too AffectionateDelusional and Morbid Jealousy?Anxiety Disorder vs. Personality Disorder: Differences?Anger Driven Down Wrong RoadBipolar Woman with Secret LivesWould Medication Help? Sociopath or Sociopath-like Product of My Environment?HelpDBSDiet and anxietyMy boyfriend is a SociopathIm so confused...is is BPD or Bipolar? Save my marriage!Why is my mom following me around to take over my life?What is Neuroticism?Anti social with accepting girlfriendDoes my husband have a personality disorder?Is it possible to stop being an attention seeker?Are all personality disorders the results of poor parenting?Boyfriend with APD - frustrated - Nelly - Jul 21st 2008I'm overemotional! What's wrong with me?Identity Confusion: I don't know what personality disorders I haveAM I BEING ABUSED BY MY THERAPIST?My partner of 6 years suddenly left with no explanation and has completely shut me and my kids out- EliseIs Borderline Personality Disorder a Choice?Can he be changed?I don't know who my true self is!Self-Injury / Self-Harm: How do I stop cutting myself?What Are Some Coping Skills for Paranoia?Ritual Penance and Feelings of WorthlessnessIs she mentally ill and is there anything i can do?Please explain how it is that psychopaths can manipulate people if they have no empathyA Friend in NeedThree different personality disordersMild Personality DisorderMy OCPD husband can't tolerate my 'flaws'I think i'm lost?Possible borderline?Very confusing relationshipCoping with Narcissistic BehaviorWhat is wrong with me?No FriendsI want a personality disorderBorderline GirlfriendHabitual Liar? Or Something Worse?Possible Munchausen SyndromeI choose victims to comfort meA Habitual Liar's LamentProtecting Children From Their GrandmotherI Don't Have Any Idea What To SayCraving AttentionObsessive Research AssistantExternalizationDissociative Identity ProblemGetting Along With Narcissistic RelativesDysfunctional FamilyHow To Treat Avoidant PersonalityPersonality Disordered GrandmotherSchizoid(?) FriendLying FriendMore Than One Personality Disorder?Pathological Lying
VideosLinksBook Reviews
Related Topics

Mental Disorders

Ask Anne: Relationship AdviceAsk Anne:
Relationship Questions

Very confusing relationship

Mon, Mar 19th 2007

I have been with this girl for almost 2 years. I love her so much and can't imagine myself without her. But she has issues. Issues that I can't seem to escape or help her with. It doesn't take much to hurt her emotionally. Things that most people would shrug off or resolve with a honest apology, send her spiraling downward ruining her day, weekend or even longer. For example, a few weeks ago she called asking for a ride from work to pick up her car from the shop. She needed me to pick her up at 5 so we would have plenty of time to get her to her car before the shop closed. I showed up at her work at 5:03 on the nose and it turned into a horrible ordeal. She said that when she said 5 she meant before 5 and three minutes late is LATE!!! We still made it to her car with plenty of time to spare but that didn't matter anymore. When she gets upset, she gets really upset. It's on her mind constantly and she looses all motivation and she can't seem to escape her sorrow of it. She gets very upset when she thinks about my previous relationships and the small number of women I've slept with in the past. It drives her crazy and I end up feeling guilty even though I have done nothing wrong. I am the only one she has ever slept with and the thought of me with other women is too much for her to bare. She knows I'd never cheat on her. I'm as loyal as they come but the past puts her over the edge. She threatens to break up with me all the time. She says that the pain she feels from me is too much. She would rather feel nothing than what she is feeling now. She says I hurt her all the time and she can't take it. I know I'm not perfect and I don't do everything right but every little thing is treated like a horrible unforgivable act. And if she has been drinking, "which is not done all that often", it's like she opens the door to her inner most hatred. She'll call me in the middle of the night and keep calling till I answer. When she's mad at me, that's when things really get ugly. She says things to me that I don't want to repeat because they hurt just thinking of them. She says horrible cruel things to me and just keeps repeating them. If I hang up, I'm the jerk. If she hangs up, she expects me to call her back. The weird thing is, I still love her more than anything. And I know that deep down she loves me but this relationship cannot work like this. Something needs to change. I don't know if she has some sort of personality disorder or not. If she did, that would explain a lot. I just want to know how much of this should be placed on my shoulders. Right now, pretty much all of it is on my shoulders.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
  • 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.