Should I Just Be Alone For Now?Wed, Aug 31st 2005
Hello. I was married for 4 years and divorced about 1 1/2 years ago. He has a short temper and a drinking problem. I have never stopped loving him though. He moved out of state about 6 months ago...to start over new. I have been dating since then, trying to fall in love again with no success. I have been seeing someone new, but still find myself calling my ex-husband to see how he is doing. Well, recently I was at home watching a movie with my boyfriend and my ex-husband came knocking on my door. He drove 25 hours by himself, quit his job, and came to see me. Well he wanted to surprise me...he certainly did. I told him that he cannot just be coming without calling first. He knew my boyfriend was there and felt very hurt. He ended up calling and I told him that I don't love him anymore, which is entirely untrue, but I don't want to give him false hope. Back when we were married we went to counseling and my husband didn't want to tell the counselor the full story about our relationship...I truly don't think that it will work. I explained everything to my boyfriend who was quite understanding. Not happy, but understanding. I am so confused! I feel awful for my ex-husband and my boyfriend. Do you think that I should just be alone for now. I don't know how to approach the subject.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.